Pirate Party – Elliot turns 3!

I am by no means a professional baker, or think that I am very fabulous. But my mom baked every one of my birthday cakes growing up so I’ve made the same commitment to my children and I have attempted to bake a birthday cake for them, for each of their birthdays.

More than anything I love it, I love the process of deciding with them their theme – which I let them choose completely, and then looking for cakes online and eventually letting them have their final choice of which cake they would like. I am now completely addicted to Pinterest, so along with my search for the perfect birthday cake, it’s always fun to get ideas on party decor and treats.

So this year, our son, who was turning 3, excitedly requested a “Pirate” birthday party! We looked at a whole lot of cakes and eventually he chose an actual pirate ship cake. Thank you to @cosybites for the inspiration for the cake, you can go see the original cake idea that I used at: http://en.paperblog.com/pirate-ship-cake-with-hershey-s-chocolate-cake-recipe-424947/

I generally use a good box cake as a base for my birthday cakes, I know it’s not very baker baker but I like the trustworthiness of it. One day I’ll develop my own fool proof cake recipe 🙂 I tweak the box cake recipe by always using butter instead of oil. For health reasons i try to omit sunflower oil completely from my cooking, and then I always add an extra egg to the mix for good luck.

I baked two square cakes (30cm x 30cm) and from there constructed the cake. Super easy and had loads of extra cut-offs from the cake which obviously the kids and the hubby loved!

Below are a few pics of the construction of the cake.

The icing recipe I used was just a standard buttercream chocolate icing recipe, but I always like to fiddle with icing recipes, so I added in (just for fun) 4 slabs of melted hershey chocolate slabs. This made the icing deliciously chocolaty, with a beautiful creamy texture.

The icing and decoration of the cake is always the best, and I have the most fun making it come to life. I added a few bits and pieces from my son’s Jake and the Neverland Pirates collection, including the ship’s wheel. I loved making this cake and the joy on Elliot’s face when he saw it was so cute and made the whole reason I make my own cakes so worth it. I know they are not perfect and not as spectacular as the professional cakes, but the idea that I’ve managed to make a cool cake and create such joy on my children’s faces is ridiculously worth it. Hopefully one day, they will brag, as I do to this day, that their mom made all their birthday cakes 🙂

So here are some pics of the cake, the pics aren’t so fabulous and next time I’ll make more of an effort to take proper pics, but you get the idea and the gist of the cake.

In addition to the cake, I made the most delicious vanilla cupcakes, with the best icing. I get a bit bored of plain old buttercream icing, so I always try and find an alternative. I found this recipe: on: http://www.whattheforkfoodblog.com/2014/11/14/white-chocolate-ganache-whipped-cream/

Basically just some whipped cream and white chocolate, super easy and deliciously delicious. All the adults went crazy over the cupcakes, so will for sure make this white chocolate ganache icing next time! Inspiration for the cup http://www.greenweddingplannerblog.com/tag/goods

Thanks to Pinterest, I found some fabulous free printables which I used for the cupcake toppers, really fun and added to the theme. And finally, I printed out some cute labels for the sweet treats and snacks. This is the best website, the labels are free and you can edit you own text!

http://www.weheartparties.com/free-printables/post/2014/11/pirate-party-free-printables-editable

  

I thoroughly enjoyed putting Elliot’s party together. The funniest part of it all was when one of the grandmothers asked if they could get some water from the kitchen for her grandson. I pointed to the “sea water” and showed her that there is water right there. She was so cute and answered that she doesn’t think her little grandson would like sea water. Ha ha!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Thank you to all the fellow Pinners that I ‘stole’ ideas from!

Should I stay or should I go?

So, this is the question on most South African’s lips at the moment. If they haven’t got to the stage of saying it out loud, then I’m certain that they are thinking it.

We are surrounded with doom and gloom at the moment. There is very little to celebrate. There is very little to be positive about. There are the usual South Africanisms that we all cling to as a symbol of what makes South Africa great. The weather, the diverse people, the natural beauty, the endless skies and the breath-taking sunsets. But at the end of the day, none of these are going to keep you safe, none of these are going to insure a safe and prosperous future for yourself or your children.

Anybody who knows me well, knows that I am all about South Africa. I am South African through and through. I have always flown the South African flag, I have always defended South Africa to the death. But now I am worried that maybe I’ll literally defend South Africa to my death, or the death of my family. At the beginning of the year, I started running out of arguments for South Africa. I even started questioning my existing arguments. Where does this country leave us, or will we have to leave this country? This is the only real steadfast argument that is now at the forefront of my mind.

Many people have left South Africa, for a safer home and better opportunities. I can’t begin to even think of the reality of leaving my country. South Africa is what I know, it’s my home. It’s where my family is and it’s where my heart is. But to be honest, right now it feels like my heart is being betrayed. It feels as if my heart has been broken and cheated on. My husband put it beautifully this morning, it’s like when you are in a marriage and you find out that your spouse is cheating on you. Although you love your spouse dearly, you know that the end is nigh. You know that it is impossible to save your marriage. How terribly sad?

That is exactly how I feel right now, betrayed, lonely, scared and sad.

Our government is constantly in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Corruption, crime, ineptitude, what else, the list goes on and on. The crime statistics are completely off the charts. We cannot rely on basic living needs like water and electricity. You are constantly and I mean constantly living in fear. Fearing for your family’s and your life. Education is not a right, it’s a priviledge. You have to be wealthy to be able to afford a decent education and even a decent education doesn’t assure you a job because you have to be the right color. Healthcare is only for the wealthy, if you can’t afford medical aid then you can’t expect decent healthcare.

Sho, and the list goes on and on about the grievances we have to live with in this country.

Right now, I am sitting by candle light, writing this blog. We have no electricity. Last week we didn’t have electricity for over 2 days. And you know what’s hilarious? People are going out and buying generators, and solar panels and batteries and they say they are giving the government the middle finger. No, no, the government has given YOU the middle finger and you have had to fork our thousands to be able to provide your family with electricity. Over and above the electricity that you have to pay for, but don’t get.

Please also keep in mind one thing. We aren’t living in deepest, darkest Africa. We live in ‘first world’ Africa. But yet it is furthest from.

At the end of the day, you can live without electricity, you make a plan. One step further, you cannot live without water. And another step further, you cannot live in fear day in and day out. The reality is, I constantly fear for my family’s life. This is not fine and this is not what life should be.

So the question is……should we stay or should we go?

😦

Where do we stand?

The world seems particularly trying right now. There’s people dying, suffering, there’s natural disasters, accidents, hatred, anger, fighting, murdering, stealing and boy the list goes on. This is all happening near and far. I feel like we are suffocating because of all the horribleness in the world.

This morning I arrived at work and was presented by a coworker with an article from social media about new born babies being killed and eaten as a delicacy in the Far East. Is this true, can this honestly be true??? I cannot even begin to process this!!!!

Just in our country, people are brutally killing each other because they are a different nationality. How do you even begin to justify this???? Or understand this?

People are being tortured and murdered left right and centre, sometimes for money, sometimes for cell phones, sometimes for no reason what so ever!

What is happening to humanity? I don’t understand it! What’s going on with us or has evolution gotten the better of us and our brains / societies / cultures are imploding and we are literally turning on each other.

Sho, and this is just what we are doing to ourselves. What about the disease, sickness and natural disasters?

Is the world and its ‘highest’ form of inhabitants in self destruct mode?

I’m battling to see the light.

Is it because I live in South Africa and it literally is all doom or gloom or is it like this everywhere?

Phew! Battling to dig myself out of this dark hole

4

Today, 4 years ago, my life got turned upside down. Never before had I been so in love, never before had I been so terrified.

I knew from the moment that I found out I was pregnant that I was having a little girl. Both Colin and I knew. And I loved that little girl from that day on.

Was the pregnancy wonderful? Absolutely not! But I never stopped loving my little girl. The birth wasn’t perfection but when Lily was born she was perfection. In every way. She was so small – only 1.9kg but she was incredible. And from that second onwards my life changed drastically.

The things I learnt about the world, about other people, about myself and my new little girl was immense. There are no words. Was it all roses and cupcakes? No ways. I won’t lie, there were times of pure hell. Times when I thought I wasn’t going to make it, times when I thought our marriage wasn’t going to make it.

Has these last four years been easy? Nope. Have they been incredible? 100%

I am the first person to tell anybody what being a parent is really like. It’s not easy. Would I advise everybody to do it? Nope. Do I regret it? Nope!

Lily is my little love, she makes my heart burst with a love I cannot describe. She is beautiful and amazing at everything. She fights like crazy and she is so super strong. But at the same time your heart crumbles when she asks you to come cuddle with her when there’s thunder and lightening.

Lily is like no being on earth and I get to be her mom.

These last four years have been nothing short of magnificent. My pie, my baba, my princess, I love you more than all the stars in the universe.

Love you love you love you and happy 4th birthday my baba.

Mommy xoxo

Passions versus Reality

So I left school honestly not knowing what I wanted to become. I did one of those day long aptitude tests and the results showed that I could be an architect, a scientist or an accountant. Not knowing what on earth to choose, I decide to study business science. Yuk! I lasted not even 6 months and quit – the boringness almost killed me. I then attempted a year at marketing and was just not inspired. And then I had one of those life changing experiences, where my family and I went on a trip to the bush (we always went to the bush since I was little) and I decided then and there that I wanted to make the bush my life.

I got home, registered at wits and couldn’t wait to start studying my BSc Ecology.

Those four years were honestly incredible. Other than the course on fungus – yes fungus – I loved every second. I loved the science and the research and of course the field work. There is nothing better than being in the bush from sun-up until sun-down ‘working’. And honestly this is what some lucky people get to do as a ‘job’.

So why exactly did I give this up?!?!?!?

I’m still not entirely sure other than one day I started panicking. About the realities of being an ecologist and what this would entail. Family life / money / and other such practicalities. So I literally packed up my studies as I was about to embark on a bursary to do my masters in the Kruger park. I did an about turn. Lived in London for a year (gross) and then came home and started working for my dad.

So what do I do now? I run the aesthetic division of my family’s Medical Aesthetic / Surgical Company. Do I love my job? Yes because it’s challenging and I feel like its mine and I get to work with and for the greater good of my family. And no because do I really care about the latest aesthetic product on the market – not really!!!!!! I’d rather be ticking off species of birds that I have identified or taking photographs of plants.

BUT

Would I be where I am today if I carried on pursuing my passion? No. I would not be married to Colin, I wouldn’t have two incredible children.

I’d most probably be sporting something khaki and measuring the diameter of trees in the Kruger 😉

But I have days that I regret my choice of path so much. I completely turned my back on my passion. I sometimes feel like I sold my sole.

What gets me through the thought that I’m not pursuing my passion? One day – I’ll do my PHd – one day – I’ll own a beautiful farm somewhere – one day – I’ll know I made the right choice.

So in the end I’ve learnt tons about business, about people and about the medical aesthetic industry. I can honestly say that I’m passionate about my job, because it’s mine and it affords myself and my family amazing opportunities.

And like I said before, one day I’ll get to follow my dream – I vow to myself.

What Mother’s Day Means to Me

So today in South Africa – we celebrate Mother’s Day. What does this day mean to me?

This day means the following to me:

I’m so proud to be a mother, more proud than anything else about myself or that I’ve achieved.

I’m grateful for being a mother – there is no greater gift – honestly.

I look at my children and I think really – these are mine? I get to have these? And then I’m beyond grateful again.

I look at my husband and I think wow! We did this! As a team! I’m so proud to be your team mate.

I think of my grand mother and think of how she has shaped my life in so many ways and astonishingly continues to shape my life and my children’s.

I look at my mother – with awe – at her phenomenal ability of being a mother. And everything she’s given me and taught me. And I live every day in hope that I will be as amazing a mother as she is to me.

And then I look at the world and think sho, I need to protect my children from everything dangerous and horrible and scary.

And then I think oh my word – do I have my job cut out for me?!?!?

Thank you universe for blessing me with my children, thank you that I get to share this journey with my spectacular husband and thank you more than anything that I get to be a mother to Lily and Elliot.

Thank you!

“And I vow to be the best mom possible and love you with all my heart and soul and every possible ounce of my being.

 I love you my princess and my monster!!!!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox “

The non-science (nonsense) of baby sleep

So here I lie at 3.30 in the morning and our 9 month old baby – Elliot, REFUSES to go back to sleep. Ugh! This is already after waking four times thus far tonight.

And honestly, relatively speaking, this is a good night.

I’ve read the books, implemented the ‘science’, actually tried every theory under the sun.

I bet you there isn’t a tactic left that we haven’t  tried.

What’s crazy is that at 4 months he slept through, 6pm-6am. Pure bliss. And our first born was a nightmare sleeper so I really thought we had this waxed and our sleep deprivation was a thing of the past – but nope – we spoke to soon. At six months Elliot started waking up, 3 times, 6 times, 10 times and sometimes even 15 times a night and then you just stop counting.

The never ending tiredness is a killer. Even though my husband is amazing and we share the nights 50/50 I still wake up when ever Elliot wakes up. I actually wish to drug myself so then at least every second night I could get a good nights sleep.

At 3.30 in the morning, I think if you told me that running down the street naked, singing the national anthem will make Elliot go back to sleep I would.

Why oh why is the whole baby sleep thing so horrendous. They tired, so why don’t they sleep? Why universe, why?

Do you let them cry? Comfort them? Feed them more? Rock them? Sing to them? Is there a fool proof theory? No, not according to me.

Ugh!

How I crave sleep and dream about the days to come when both our children sleep through.

Please universe, grant me this wish sooner than later, as I may just loose it and run far far away…..;)

No shampoo

No shampoo.

60 years of Marriage!?!?!

So here we are in Dullstroom, celebrating my Grandparents 60th anniversary!

Can you actually believe it? 60 years! How is that even possible?

Colin and I have been married for 5 years and it has been tough, no lie, we have truly earned our five years of marriage. And I am damn proud of us. But 5 years is very different to 60 years. So you find yourself asking, what makes a successful marriage? Is it time spent alone together? Gifts? Freedom? Patience? Foregiveness? Love? Sex? Friendship? Respect? Loyalty? It’s easy to say all of the above but when you in a marriage it’s one thing saying all of the above and it’s another thing putting all the above into action.

The other day Colin and I went to a wedding of a couple who are ridiculously dear to us. They have been together for 12 years, and they have been through everything during those 12 years. The greatest highs and the lowest lows, including one of them having a severe heart attack, a stroke and eventually a heart transplant. And against all the odds, over those 12 years they have stuck by each other, despite what everybody else has thought or advised them. And then they got married. Attending their wedding ceremony was mind blowing. Because you are so used to attending weddings of young couples only starting out in life. Their whole life ahead of them, starry eyed, rosy cheeked and full of love. But to watch 2 people getting married who have been through so much, it throws a completely different perspective onto love and marriage. Well for me it did.

I then decided, that in my opinion couples should earn marriage. There should be a law that you have to share your life together for 10 years minimum, prove that you can stick by each other through thick and thin and then be allowed to get married. Because let’s be honest. In 10 years your relationship is bound to be tested.

I look at my grandparents and their 60 years of marriage and if you ask them: has it always been stars and roses, and of course their answer is no. They’ve been through everything imaginable together but they have stuck by each other regardless. And 60 years later, you couldn’t possibly dream of two people more in love. Not the 16 year old, starry eyed, heart racing sort of love, but the real, weather beaten love. The real love.

Looking at them, looking at Colin and I, and looking at our friends who have just gotten married, I can say this:

What makes a marriage last. First and foremost, RESPECT, followed by TEAM WORK and then of course LOYALTY. To me those are the top 3 things that every marriage needs for it to work. If you lose any of those three, then you are lost.

So I hope that in 55 years, Colin and I will be celebrating our 60th anniversary. In fact I believe we will.

Here’s to my grandparents: Big-D and Mom, here’s to amazing love and being beyond inspiring. I love you and respect you both more than words could ever describe. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Lessons Learnt – The David & Goliath Story

 I initially published this post last year October and subsequently had to remove it for certain reasons. 

I wasn’t sure if I should repost it, but I’ve decided I’m going to. This ‘story’ you will read caused a lot of hurt and anger in my life and very much still does.

I’m seriously battling to just ‘get over it’, but I’m trying. I know so many people won’t understand what the big deal is all about but this is really personal and it hit me hard. I lost a lot: a lot of faith, a lot of innocence and a lot of trust. Thankfully, I also gained so much.

I was in a meeting this afternoon with a very successful businessman and he was philosophizing about business and life in general and he said this: when things are going right in life, you don’t learn anything BUT when things go wrong, that’s when you learn. How true. 

And so this little quote will set the stage for my story below.

As a human being there are challenges constantly being thrown at us, literally from the moment we pop out of our mother there is one challenge after another. It is how we respond to these challenges that tar our road to the future but also mold us into who we are.

I’m sure we all look back at challenges in our lives and wish we had handled them differently or else be very proud of how we handled that particular moment. But, more than anything I think we can all say without certainty that we learn valuable lessons, regardless the outcome. Whether it’s learning not to stick your finger in a plughole as a toddler or else learning not to trust so readily as an adult.

The last 16 months have been incredibly trying for my family and myself. I work with my family, in a family run medical supplies business. My dad started this business in 1989 and despite trying circumstances and starting from nothing he has succeeded beyond belief. We are a small, intimate company competing against multinationals in the medical market but we have done amazingly well and while we may be a small company with limited resources our commitment and dedication allow us to outperform those who are far bigger than us, and who have much deeper pockets.

Last year we received a massive blow when we were informed by one of our product supply companies (approx 50% of our business) that they were going to come direct in South Africa. Essentially this meant that as of January 2013 we would lose this section of our business. Not only have we built this brand in South Africa from scratch, but we have built it into the biggest brand of its kind in South Africa. We have always put our heart and souls into this product, representing it with everything we had for 12 years and now we were being told it was being taken away from us. What was so difficult to grasp was that it wasn’t due to any fault / failure of our own. As I see it, it was actually the opposite. We had done such a good job with the product that it made it attractive for the company owning the brand to come directly into the market.

I joined my Dad’s business over 6 years ago and this product became my baby. Without trying to sound like a complete nerd, I’ve eaten, slept, dreamt this product since July 2006. This stupid product has been the cause of so much stress, anxiety, sleepless nights and most importantly time away from my family but it was always worth it because we were growing the brand and our business.

So yes, to describe the heartbreak I / we felt when we were told this devastating news is actually indescribable.

This may sound completely stupid that so much emotion was invested into a ‘product’ but we are an incredibly emotional family and we really do pour our heart and soul into our business. And after 12 years of working so hard at something, you can only feel devastated about losing such a big part of your business.

So this sad story began 16 months ago and these past couple of months have been the culmination of 16 heart breaking months where to say that it has been an emotional roller coaster is putting it very mildly. To not bore you with the details I will try and make a very long story a little less longer.

After we were told that the company would be supplying directly into our market, negotiations commenced in terms of which there was to be a payment from them to us in return for which we would agree to certain restraints and we would help them establish their business in South Africa.

I can tell you that notwithstanding our best efforts we can now confirm that the contract will not go through.  We decided that to have ourselves ‘bound in shackles’ for two years was just not worth what was being offered to us. So we made a very big and brave decision to fight, David and Goliath style. After this decision things went downhill from there, where today we have been informed that the product will be taken away from us prematurely.

In a nutshell, we are losing a product that we have made into the most successful of its kind in South Africa, a product that makes up 50% of our business. To no fault of our own.  So what now? I mentioned earlier that we are an extremely passionate family. Our passion for our business has made us realize that it is bigger than just one product, even one of this magnitude. We have a fantastic relationship with our clients, a great team, a brilliant reputation and certainly some serious skills and know how to make our future a success.

During this journey I have learnt so many things; about myself, about my family, about those close to me, about the people I work with and of course mostly about the business world. I have learnt that it is very difficult to separate emotions from business, it is very difficult to draw the line between business and personal and also that the business world is crazy ruthless – take no prisoners style.

But you know what, over and above everything, the most important and positive lessons I have learnt is that my father is one amazing, strong and brave man. I have learnt that my mother has a fighting spirit in her that equals none. I have learnt that there is nothing quite like having a strong, intelligent and very willful husband standing by my side. I have learnt that there are indeed people who will stick by you in the tough times.

In the end I know that my family cannot be beaten by anyone or anything. I know that our little company, that we have built over these 23 years, has never been stronger than what it is today. I am so proud to go into battle with my amazing family and our amazing company that is an extension of our family.

So there have been many lessons learnt along this journey, some positive and some negative but I can only say that we have come out the other side a bit battle worn but oh so strong and ready to wage war on the Goliath.